


Dealing With The Man And His Attitude

by TheBeezKneez



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-05
Updated: 2016-03-05
Packaged: 2018-05-24 19:59:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6164956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBeezKneez/pseuds/TheBeezKneez
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Young Lila is new to London and to her surprise, she becomes rather close to a man with high cheekbones.  However perhaps Sherlock isn't the only one that takes attention from Lila.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dealing With The Man And His Attitude

“Hello, my name is Lila Green and I’ll be, well, renting your rooms down below”. Lila was a tall young woman of 25 who had just graduated from medical school with too many degrees to count. She had majored in the medical field however she double minored in business and law simply because she was bored and needed more things to do. She was a brilliant girl who was too smart for her own good. Mrs. Hudson answered the door with a wide smile across her lips. She was wearing her apron and her hair was messy. 

“Hello dearie, it’s so nice of you to come early. I’ve got your place all set up and ready for you. I’m sorry I’m such a mess, I’ve been cooking and what not. Sherlock is having a Christmas party tonight and I promised I would make the pies. How silly of me, please, come in, you must be freezing” said Ms. Hudson as she invited Lila inside. Ms. Hudson led Lila downstairs to the apartments below. It was dark and quite creepy for someone who had never been to this part of the world before. 

“So, um, how long have you lived here?” asked Lila, trying to be polite when really she just wanted to rest. 

“Oh, many years sweetie, many many years. I lived here with my husband, but Sherlock helped me get rid of that bastard. That’s how Sherlock ended up living here. Oh, he lives above me in the top apartment along with a man named Watson. They’re such a sweet couple and I’m happy they’re out and about together. Have you got a boyfriend of your own in America? Oh dear, perhaps you’re a lesbian, I’m so sorry to assume.”

“No, I haven’t had much time to really try and have a relationship. I was very busy, especially this past year. I plan on working at the hospital in the mornings and at night I’m interning at a law firm.”

“Now why on earth would you do that to yourself? That’s too much work for such a young woman, just focus on one thing dear. Alright then, this is your new home”

Ms. Hudson showed Lila into a small little apartment. The walls were baby blue and the wooden floors were stained with blood marks. Most of the overhead lights were broken and the floor creaked at every step. It was the creepiest place ever, but also the cheapest that Lila could find. 

“Now dearie, obviously you can change this however you like, you can fix it up and what not, I won’t mind. I’m sorry it’s such a… well a mess, but ever after Sherlock brought that dead body in here for experiments and what not-“

“So sorry, but what exactly does Sherlock do? So far I know he got rid of your husband, whatever that means, and plays with dead bodies. I wouldn’t exactly call this a safe man Ms. Hudson” said Lila as she brought all her bags into the apartment. 

“Sherlock is a detective and a very good one at that. He does, well, a lot of secret stuff that deals with the government and what not. He’s really quite brilliant, but also not very nice to talk to. His partner John is very sweet though and he’s a doctor. I think you would like him very much. He tends to help Sherlock with his cases. Well dear if you need anything let me know. Try and come to the Christmas party tonight. I’m sure you’ll really enjoy your time there. I’ll leave you to your things Lila” said Ms. Hudson as she closed the door behind herself. The room was even darker with the doors closed and Lila had to blindly walk around the room looking for any lights that might work. Out of about ten overhead lights, three worked. Lila hung up what few clothes she had, stripped down to her undergarments and jumped in bed, expecting to sleep through until the next day. Sadly her plan was ruined because around 7:30 there was a knock on her door. At first she thought that if she ignored it, it would go away, sadly the knocking continued. She rolled out of bed and threw a robe on. He hair was now tangled after having slept for a few hours. When she opened the door a nice looking man stood outside her door with his hands behind his back. 

“Hello, um, hi I’m John Watson… you must be Lila… Mrs. Hudson’s been talking about you. Um, we’re having a Christmas party upstairs and we figured, well, Mrs. Hudson… and myself figured that you shouldn’t spend Christmas alone. So… would you like to join us…. At the party?” asked John, now awkwardly taking long pauses and rocking on the heels of his feet. 

“Um… hi John. Listen, I did just arrive after a very long flight and I basically packed up everything I owned and moved here… I think perhaps tonight isn’t a good night” said Lila as she began to shut the door. John placed his foot between the door, stopping her from closing it. 

“Look… It’s very strange that you’re spending Christmas alone in a country that you just moved to. I’ll be personally feeling very guilty if you don’t come up to the party and enjoy your Christmas… with us….”

“Oh my… well goodness I wouldn’t want to make you feel guilty now would I… Okay, I’ll be up in a bit”

“Thanks”

Lila shut the door and walked back to her bedroom. She threw on some black leggings and an oversized red sweater. She slipped on her flats and brushed out her hair. Without locking the door she headed up the stairs towards the top floor apartment. It was strange to be going to a party where she knew absolutely no one. She could hear violin music coming from the apartment door and she knocked twice. John opened the door and gave Lila a friendly smile. 

“Welcome Lila. Please, would you like something to drink?” he asked. 

“No, I’m quite all right, thank you though.”

“Well let’s introduce you to everyone shall we?” asked Ms. Hudson as she wrapped her arm around Lila’s waist and pulled her over to the center of the room. She introduced her to Molly, Sherlock’s co-worker that had a crush on him, Dave, the chief of police that allowed Sherlock to do what he did, and lastly they walked up to Sherlock who was still playing the violin. He gave Lila a side look and continued with his music. 

“Hello Sherlock, I’ve heard a few things about you, though not enough to fully understand your characteristics and social behavior. I’m Lila, I just moved into the first floor apartment”

“Yes yes I know of you Lila. You moved into your apartment in a completely different country in an apartment you’d never seen before, only bringing what few clothes you could pack into your bag-“

“Sherlock don’t… please don’t” said John

“You obviously ran away from an abusive relationship by the bruises behind your ears that you hide so brilliantly with your hair. The bloodstains are still on your palms of your hands from either trying to cover an open wound on your body or trying to stop your attacker. By the look of your clothes you threw them into a suitcase and ran, so obviously your life was at danger. You moved here to get away, also, from what I have been told about you, you like to be busy which could have meant you also wanted to stay away from home which could be due to your abuser. You love cats, in fact you may have even had one at one point from the fur on your leggings. You’re brilliant and book smart but you’re too smart for your own good and you tend to rub people the wrong way” said Sherlock as he didn’t even bother to stop playing the violin or look at Lila. 

“Too far Sherlock… too bloody far, as always. I’m sorry about that Lila” said John as he tried handed her a glass of wine. Lila simply pushed away and crossed her arms, staring at the ass hole who dared to make a fool of her. 

“It’s quite alright John, I think I know Sherlock’s type, he’s a high functioning sociopath. Sherlock, you were wrong I’m afraid, for you see, it wasn’t an old lover I was running from. I was running from my father. The marks on the back of my neck are from the other morning when I told him I was leaving. The fur is from my cat, princess, who is with a friend of mine. There’s so much that you don’t know, but why bother telling you. You’re arrogant. Sherlock, you don’t know anything about me so why don’t you get to know a person before you immediately judge them and assume you know their life. You may have the facts, but you know nothing about what’s inside. Now then, we should move to a more pleasant conversation considering it’s Christmas and all. Has anyone here ever played twister? I think I might have brought the board game with me. Anyone up for Twister?”

For the rest of the night the entire group, with the exception of Sherlock Holmes, played Twister. It was fun for everyone and they were all laughing and enjoying life. At one point Ms. Hudson was straddling Dave and John was sort of lying down underneath Lila while Molly was awkwardly in her own corner staring at Sherlock. Someone lost his or her balance and everyone came tumbling down. Santa landed on John, causing quite a bit of sexual awkwardness to overcome the two of them. Ms. Hudson went off it and kissed Dave. They were both drunk enough causing them to continue kissing. Sherlock looked over at the mess of people and coughed, assuming that would stop it. Somehow Mrs. Hudson ended up pressed against a wall with Dave pressed against her and John and Lila were sipping wine in front of a fire while Molly was flirting with Sherlock. It seemed to be the perfect night for everyone, except Sherlock.  
****************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

There was a knock on Lila’s door the next morning and when she went to open it there was a letter at the foot of her door. It read:

"Dear Ms. Green, I apologize for my harsh words the other night. I was out of line and I’m sorry if I in any way hurt you. Welcome to the neighborhood, and to the building. Enjoy your time here in England and if you need anything, you can contact John. Best, Sherlock."

It wasn’t the exact apology Lila had hoped for but for the time being it was worth it. She left her apartment that morning in search for furniture stores and a decorator. Hours later she finally had figured out exactly what she wanted and she return to 221 Bakers street where she heard gunshots coming from upstairs. She heard Mrs. Hudson scream and ran up the stairs to see what had happened. She ran into the upstairs apartment where Sherlock was standing on a couch pointing a gun at the wall. 

“Oh Sherlock what have you done to my bloody wall? Are you insane” cried Ms. Hudson. 

“Not insane Ms. Hudson, just a-“ he began, but was immediately cut off by Lila who mimicked his voice.

“High functioning sociopath” she said as she leaned against the wall with her arms crossed against her chest. 

“That's my line, not yours. How did you… oh that’s right, last night you accused me of… well the truth…”he said, turning to look at Lila, not realizing he was pointing the gun at her. Lila took a step back placing herself in front of Mrs. Hudson, who quickly left the room. 

“Yes Sherlock, I was listening to you though I wasn’t very interested in what you had to say. Now for Mrs. Hudson’s sake, could you please stop shooting holes into her wall. I certainly hope you don’t do this often, or if you do, perhaps you should do it… less”

“Lila, your mouth moves so much but you say nothing important to me” said Sherlock as he turned back to the wall and pointed, ready to shoot again. 

“If you touch that wall with one more bullet, I’ll have no other choice but to box your ears and kick you somewhere where you really wouldn’t want to be kicked. You need to realize Sherlock, that when you’re an ass hole, people will be assholes to you as well. I will not have any patience for this kind of neighbor. I may not be from here, but I know proper edicate, you put one more hole in that wall and I will… well, you understand?” said Lila, now taking a step towards him.

“Try me” he said with a smirk on his lips. 

“You think I wouldn’t”

Sherlock looked Lila up and down and his expression immediately changed. He lowered the gun and placed it on the table. Both Mrs. Hudson and John ran up to the apartment and were amazed to see Sherlock actually being stopped. They watched as he approached Lila, their chests practically touching. Sherlock slowly moved his hands down Lila’s arms, wrapping his fingers around her wrist. He stared deeply into her eyes as he checked her pulse. A glare came upon his lips and he let go of her, pushing himself as far away from the group as possible. 

“What are you trying to play at?” he barked. 

“I’m not playing at anything Sherlock, however I must say, you remind me of my father in many ways. He was also a high functioning sociopath and he played the same games you do, and he played them for the exact same reasons you do, because he wanted to show off his amazing abilities to read people and solve things that no one else could, and also, to hurt people. He loved hurting people with this little power he had, and he thrived off of the pain he caused. Yes, he reminds me of you very much, although you have a certain amount of love in your heart, that I can see,” said Lila as she turned to leave the apartment. For the rest of the week Lila stayed in her apartment tearing off wallpaper, cleaning the floors and throwing away whatever furniture was left for her. Finally the apartment was completely empty and Lila called her movers, who began bringing in all her things. They brought in all the furniture and placed it where she asked. The painters came to talk to her about colors however she hadn’t realized that she wasn’t able to live in the apartment and visited Ms. Hudson. The inside of Ms. Hudson’s apartment was classy and elegant with a hint of scandal. 

“Hello Ms. Hudson, so um… I’m redoing the apartment and the painters are coming in tomorrow along with the people who will stain the floors to… um, darken the color and get rid of the blood stain. I can’t live in my apartment for a week, and I wanted to know, do you know where I could stay during this time?”

“Oh dearie, I would ask you to stay with me but I’m afraid Fred, the baker down the street, has been staying with me and you probably wouldn’t feel comfortable being in the room next door. Perhaps Sherlock would let you stay in their extra room. They have two rooms and John’s been staying with his girlfriend lately, although I think it’s awful that he’s cheating on Sherlock like that”

“They aren’t a couple Mrs. Hudson. I also don’t think Sherlock would want me to stay with him, especially after what I said to him the other day. I could just stay in a hotel for the week” said Lila turning to leave Mrs. Hudson’s apartment. When she turned, Sherlock was standing directly behind her with his coat turned up. 

“You can stay in John’s room, I’ll tell him to clean it before he leaves to stay with his girlfriend. If you make any noise or give any sign of life, I’ll begin shooting the wall again, so beware. I’ll see you tonight, here’s a key. Oh, and I like the color you chose for your walls and floor, a dark brown wooden floor with a beautiful green painted wall… Mrs. Hudson should learn from you” said Sherlock, handing Lila a key to the apartment. 

“When did you see my apartment?” she asked. 

“I walked in the moment you left to use the bathroom. I also looked at your new furniture, I realize it’s still wrapped up but I love the sofa, though your bed could be a bit bigger. With your love life, you’ll have visitors often. Also, I think you’re table it too small considering it won’t always just be you. You’ve created an apartment for a single woman, and that’s not what you want to be” he said, giving her a grin as he swept away. 

“That Sherlock is really a mystery isn’t he Lila? 

“He’s an ass, that’s what he is. Well I suppose I won’t need you anyways, thanks though… and have fun with the uh, baker down the street”

“Don’t be too hard on Sherlock, he’s never been wrong with anyone he’s read and you going around telling him off certainly brings out a mean character in him. Perhaps if you got to know him things would be different between you two. John likes him very much and Sherlock seems to enjoy John. He’s just someone you must get used to”

Later that day Lila packed a few of her clothes and toiletries, left her key for the painters and decorators and headed up stairs to Sherlock’s apartment. When she walked in, there was the scent of cinnamon and apples all around. The apartment was sparkly clean with the exception of the kitchen, which was filled with test tubes and strange liquids. She closed the door behind her and Sherlock walked out of his room wearing his pajamas and a robe. His hair was messy and he looked like he had just woken up. He took Lila’s bag and placed it in John’s room, which was now going to be hers for the week. 

“So Lila I don’t think we need to get into any deep conversations but I have one question, please, why England of all places?”

“I liked the idea of hearing the British accent every day for the rest of my life. I’m seduced by the accent and I find it calming. When I was little my father used to put on children’s tv shows that were filmed in the UK and I would fall asleep to them while I would listen to him scream at the tv in the other room. I thought London England would be the perfect place to find the perfect accent”

“Do you mean to tell me you find all British accents seductive?”

“Well, all except yours”

“W-what why?!”

“Because you’re an ass”

“I am not!”

“Are to!”

“I am not, Lila, you conniving little- ugh!” yelled Sherlock as he pushed Lila onto the couch and began walking away. Lila wasn’t having any of this bullying so she got up and pushed Sherlock into the wall, causing the wall to shake. He looked at her in complete shock, bewildered that she had actually attacked back. Sherlock pushed himself away from the wall and approached Lila, grabbing her arm and pulling her to the ground. Assuming she would get up and attack back, he straddled her on the floor and held her arms over her head. Lila kicked and yelled at Sherlock to get off of her. She kicked him right in the middle of the legs, causing him to collapse on top of her resulting in his lips on her neck. It sent a chill through her spine to feel his soft lips brush against her pale skin. He noticed, of course, and looked her in the eyes, still holding her hands above her head. 

“Your skin shook as I touched you… that’s a chemical reaction don’t you know? I thought you hated me and the only reason you would shake would be if you began to feel a chemical imbalance right here” he said, pointing at her stomach which caused her to shiver again. 

“Obviously it’s not you, it must be your touch… you have cold hands, so I shivered, now get off of me”

“My hands aren’t cold, I certainly hope you aren’t beginning to feel attracted towards me.”

“Trust me, I’ll never feel that way towards you, ever. Now get the hell off of me before I scream and Mrs. Hudson comes running up here and finds you in this compromising position!”

“Oh trust me, Mrs. Hudson would love to find me in a compromising position with a woman, because then she would no longer need to worry about my sexually active life”

“You don’t have a sexually active life Sherlock, and you never will, not with your attitude”

Sherlock looked at Lila for a moment and then leaned his face in close to hers. Their noses were touching and she could feel his breath against her neck. He sighed and got off Lila, leaving her on the floor. She just stayed there for a moment still able to feel his body against hers. She didn’t like the strange feeling so she got up and went into John’s room. Around dinnertime she came out in her pajamas, which consisted of short shorts, a tank top and a green robe. Sherlock was lying on his couch with his fingers entwined. He looked up at Lila who was heading to the kitchen.

“What- What are you doing?” he asked. 

“I’m going to make dinner, why else would I be in the kitchen?”

“Well don’t move anything, I have very important things placed around so don’t mess with them”

“If it’s in the way, I’m going to move it, and if it disturbs me, I’m going to throw it into the sink for a wash. So whatever you don’t want thrown away, come and get it now” she said. Sherlock ran into the kitchen and blocked her from the area with all his projects. 

“You can’t touch these” he said. 

“Then take them out of the kitchen and put them in your own room!”

“There isn’t room for them in there, and there’s toxic things so if they fell I would die”

“Then why are they here to begin with? Just get rid of them!” she yelled. 

“No! We’ll just order food to be sent to the apartment, no cooking for you, now get out of MY kitchen!”

“That’s it, you need to learn how to live in a safe space, this is absolutely ridiculous! I don’t understand how John lives with this” she yelled as she grabbed test tubes and began throwing them into the sink. As liquids went down the drain Sherlock cried out and tried stopping her, but by doing so he accidentally ran into the table that held all of his projects. Everything collapsed onto the floor and smoke began to rise. Lila screamed in horror as she watched the toxic waste slowly inch towards her bare feet. Sherlock reached out his hand towards Lila and she quite literally jumped into his arms as the liquid filled the entire kitchen floor. 

“Quick, go into john’s room and under the bed there will be a suitcase with the words Sherlock’s belongings written on it. Open it and inside there is a blue bottle of liquid. Get it for me and hurry up, I’ll stop it from getting into the living room” he said. Lila ran into the bedroom, searched under the bed and found what she was looking for. Inside was a blue bottle along with a finger, a gun, glasses, and note cards. She ran into the living room and handed Sherlock the bottle. He poured it all over the kitchen floor, causing the liquid to turn into a hard substance. Once it was all hard, Sherlock got on his knees and began picking up the hard pieces and throwing them into a trash bag. Lila helped him and after a few hours of completely silence, the kitchen was back to normal, with the exception that the floor was now totally black rather than white. 

“I never should have let you stay here” he whispered. 

“Perhaps, but also, if you hadn’t, these fucking projects of yours would still be crowding your kitchen when really you and I both know you haven’t touched them in months but you’re afraid to quit. Now you have a reason to move on, you can blame me. Now that the kitchen is sort of back to normal, what do you want to eat?” she asked. He looked up at her, grinning at just how right she was. He never did tell her what he wanted to eat, but he grabbed the trash bags filled with toxic rock and went down to the garbage dump. Meanwhile Lila made a pesto sauce along with a salad and some pasta. When she opened the refrigerator she found a head inside. She practically threw up, but rather closed the door and decided to politely ask him to get rid of it while she was there. 

“I can’t do that”

“Let Molly hold onto it, doesn’t she work at the morgue? I just, I won’t be able to eat knowing it’s in there… please just, just for the week keep it elsewhere.”

“You’re so difficult and demanding. I think I can now understand why you’re alone all the time. It wouldn’t hurt if you got a dog, you could name it Red… um… is the food almost ready?”

“I like cats, not dogs. Uh, yeah, yeah it’s ready. Sit down, here’s a napkin, your kitchen looks so much nicer without all that shit you had.”

“It wasn’t shit, it was something that could have potentially changed the medical field and you threw it down a train and made a mess of it. Now cancer is never going to be solved, it’s your fault, I hope you know” he said as he sat on a chair that he didn’t realize he had. 

“Sure, blame me, go ahead, just eat. So John’s dating someone? Is she cute?”

“I wouldn’t know. Her appeal can differ between every person because-“

“Is she or is she not cute, in your personal opinion Sherlock?”

“She’s alright… not my type. She’s secretly a spy and I’m wondering when she’s going to tell John, I certainly have no plans of telling him. It’s just so obvious though” he said as he grabbed a fork and began swirling pasta around. 

“Don’t you think you should tell John, I mean, I’m sure he gets into enough trouble being around you, so I’m sure she’s dangerous as well. So, what’s the last case you did?”

“It’s not my place Lila. This pasta is… well it’s pasta. Thank you, and I don’t give details of my cases.”

“That might be perhaps the nicest compliment you’ve ever given me… so thank you Sherlock. I’m curious, has your life ever been in danger?”

“Every day”

“How exciting… say…. When I’m not working, do you suppose I could come with you and see what you do”

“No. It’s bad enough that I drug John with me, I wouldn’t want to give you the sickness as well. Besides, it’s classified stuff… you wouldn’t understand”

“You mean you think you’re better than me”

“Well actually, yes in many ways”

“God you really are a complete ass hole aren’t you? I would like to see you go a day being stuck in the mind of a “normal” person; I feel like you would respect people more. Also… look Sherlock… about what happened earlier… I think you should set boundaries, I mean technically what you did could have been considered sexual assault, when you forced yourself on top of me.”

“Would you have called the police? More importantly, are you planning on calling the police?” he asked as he leaned in towards Lila. 

“No of course I won’t call them, but that’s not the point, the point is-“

“The point is that you won’t call the police because you didn’t feel at danger and you and I both had a silent understanding and I actually gave you every chance to use self defense against me and you didn’t do it… but I know you have the ability to fight me off if you so desired. Care to argue?”

“Sherlock… that doesn’t excuse the fact that you can’t do that to just anyone without paying a price”

“I didn’t do it to just anyone, I did it to you. You’re not just anyone Lila, therefor my straddling you on the floor and holding you hostage was not the usual “assault””

Hearing those words come out of Sherlock’s mouth made Lila’s skin feel all oozy. Her stomach was doing somersaults and she had to sit and pretend like nothing changed her attitude. They finished their pasta in silence and Sherlock grabbed the plates placing them in the sink. To Lila’s surprise, he began to wash them. She grabbed a sponge and began cleaning the counters and kitchen table. By the time the two of them were done, the kitchen looked spotless. 

“I’m going to be in the living room, don’t bother me” said Sherlock as he grabbed his laptop and laid out across the couch. Lila returned to John’s room and jumped into bed. At first she thought she would go straight to sleep, but after dealing with all the toxins that had been in the kitchen she decided to take a shower. She stripped down to nothing and placed her own towel around her body. She walked out into the hallway and locked eyes with Sherlock who was looking over his computer screen at her. His eyes were deep and intense, giving Lila a shiver up her back. 

“You’re going to take a shower, at night?” he asked, sounding appalled. 

“Yes, is this a problem?”

“It’s known for people to sweat when they sleep, so what’s the point of showering at night?”

“People sweat during the day, that’s a thing. Besides, if you take showers in the morning, it’s perfect for the both of us because we won’t ruin each other’s bathing schedules. Now then, I’m going to go and clean toxic waste off of me” she said as she began walking down the hall. 

“Are you always so open about the way you present yourself?”

“What do you mean?” she asked, now turning around and stepping closer to him. 

“You’re in a towel and just a towel, there’s a certain amount of confidence that you’re pretending to have. Also, you’re apparently used to being on all fours because when you cleaned the kitchen this evening your first reaction was to get on all fours and start scrubbing, rather than getting a mop or something of that sort. The state of your knees was bad before, the other day I saw your knees and they were burned. These bruises aren’t too recent, though they’re soon enough that they could have happened before you ran away from your father. Also when I pressed myself against you the first thing you did was hold your breath and shut your eyes, as if, almost as if you were going to let me hurt you however I so desired. Lila, are you a stable enough to be on your own?” he asked, not looking away from his computer once.

“I might be more stable than you Sherlock. Why don’t you stop “reading” me like you do most people and actually just talk to me. I can solve your mystery if you would just ask, no matter how hard you try to read me, you’ll never know the full story” said Lila as she walked away. She got into the shower and once the water began to run Sherlock searched Lila Green on the Internet. Her Facebook page showed up but was completely blocked off. There was very little about Lila online except the places she worked and the volunteer functions she went to. There were many pictured of her holding smiling children in orphanages. Otherwise, there was nothing about her. Sherlock took the time she was in the shower to search through her things. The few things she brought from the apartment were some clothes, toiletries, and a notebook with medical notes as well as sketches. Nothing out of the ordinary, which bothered Sherlock. The water stopped and he jumped back onto the couch, turning his laptop back on. Lila came out of the room a few minutes later with dripping hair and her towel wrapped around her. She walked into the living room and sat down on the couch next to Sherlock. He jerked his head and inched away from her. 

“What?” he asked. 

“You have something you want to ask me”

“No I don’t”

“I think you do. There’s something you want to know, just ask the question”

“No”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“Oh for bloody hell’s sake! What was it about your father that drove you away? I know alcohol can drive a family apart, but whatever he did to you drove you all the way to another country”

“See, it wasn’t that difficult to ask. Okay, hold tight, this is sort of a bumpy ride. After my mother died when I was very young my father took care of me. He tried his hardest to make me happy, but he couldn’t. I was too upset about my mother and I cried myself to sleep at night. He became so upset with not being able to take care of me that he began drinking. His drinking led to abusive behavior with me, but even more than that, he began to call me my mother’s name. He began drinking so much that he started to think I was my mother, and so he treated me like her… he… I would cook dinner for him and he would tell me to clean the kitchen. But he didn’t’ want me to clean it my way, he wanted me to clean it like my mother used to clean it. On her hands and knees. I would get on the floor and he would sit there, watching me scrub the floor and he would say things to me. At night, he would come into my room and crawl into bed. He never actually sexually assaulted me, although he certainly tried, and one night it got so far that I hit him over the head and ran away. I ran all the way to England with the police following me. England was the only place the police wouldn’t touch me. It also was the only good thing about my father. Those tv shows that he would put on for me to go to sleep were the only good things about him. Anything else you need to know?”

“Why don’t you cry anymore?” 

“I do. Next question”

“Lila… stop it… you’re only hurting yourself” he said, closing his laptop and placing it on the floor. 

“No Sherlock, I’m just telling you like it is. Sherlock, you can read people till the day you die but you will NEVER know the full story unless you just ask. You may be a high functioning sociopath, but deep down inside you, your heart is begging to feel pain, to feel lust, to feel desire but you won’t feel that unless you watch others feel it.”

“Fine, you want the questions do you? Why, so you can tell me all the horrible things about your life and make me feel bad? Do you want sympathy, because I’m giving you all I have, which isn’t much. You want me to ask you all the detailed questions, fine, what exactly did your father do to you? What horrible thing did he do that night that caused you to go over the edge?” he asked, now leaning into Lila. 

“Is this something you actually want to know, or are you trying to hurt me now? I know how to hurt, you don’t”

“Go on, tell me everything that I fear to ask… if you’re so insistent to make me a new man, then tell me”

“Fine. My father came into the room, pulled me close and he called me Sofia as he kissed my neck… um… actually maybe we shouldn’t-“

“Yes and then what, Oh common now I think I'm just bored” said Sherlock as he practically mocked Lila. 

“He slid his hand between my thighs and grabbed me. He pushed himself on top of me and undid his pants and he bit me. He bit me hard enough to draw blood. And then he said something to me, something he hadn’t said in years… he told me… he said he loved me… and I almost let him do whatever he wanted because hearing him say that he loved me… it filled this stupid little hole in my heart. I then realized that was stupid, I grabbed the lamp and I hit him very hard in the head. It didn’t knock him out but it did get him off me. I ran out, grabbed a suitcase and threw clothes in it. Grabbed all my money and passport and ran. I heard him calling the cops so I got to the airport as quickly as possible. The cops were waiting for me in the airport, apparently his case was stronger than mine, so I snuck through security and got on any plane heading to the UK. I wasn’t too picky but London certainly seemed good enough for me. I looked online once I found internet service in the airport in London and got a hold of Ms. Hudson. My life story, other questions before I drench your couch? I haven’t dried my hair.”

“… what… oh your hair… yes you should dry it… I…. I Um… I wish you hadn’t….” he stuttered. 

“Sorry, perhaps it was too much…”

“… I don’t know how to support you… do you need… affection? Perhaps a hug? I wouldn’t feel very comfortable doing that, usually I don’t hug people, in fact, he only person I’ve ever hugged was a dead corpse and that was simply because I wanted to feel the body temperature as it dropped”

“Not creepy at all. No hug, thanks. I don’t hug people who hug corpses, it’s in my contract”

“AH, well I’m glad you still have a sense of humor. Goodnight Lila”

“Goodnight Sherlock” she said as she stood. He watched her as she walked into John’s room and closed the door. He got back onto his computer and continued with what he was researching earlier. 

**************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

The next morning Lila heard a knock on her door. She threw on her robe and opened it to Mrs. Hudson practically crying. 

“Dear God what happened?”

“He’s dead”

“Who?”

“Sherlock” said Ms. Hudson as she pointed to Sherlock’s body that was sprawled across the floor. 

“Shit” said Lila running over to him. She checked his pulse and there was only a slight notice of blood flow. She listened to his heart but it was faint. 

“He’s dead” cried Mrs. Hudson.

“No he’s not...” said Lila, searching around his body to try and find anything that might have caused this reaction. She came across a needle that had a 100% caffeine dosage. “Dear God, he created this didn’t he? Idiot” 

“What is it?”

“He literally overdosed on caffeine. His body didn’t know how to react so it shut down. He’s not going to like what I’m about to do” said Lila, placing herself on top of Sherlock.

“What are you going to do?” asked Mrs. Hudson.

Lila leaned down and opened Sherlock’s mouth. She took in a deep breath and placed her lips over his. She pounded on his chest three times, then did it again. After a few tries Sherlock came jumping up, thrusting himself towards Lila. He wrapped his arms around her and breathed heavily. When he realized what was happening, he lowered his arms and looked up and Lila, who was now sitting on him. 

“I think I could consider this sexual assault Ms. Green” said Sherlock, looking at his surroundings. 

“No, because I saved your heart. You overdosed, idiot. Why would you ever create anything like that? You almost killed yourself” said Lila, grabbing Sherlock’s face and forcing him to look at her. 

“… I had it under control woman… Besides which… why aren’t you wearing any undergarments?” he asked, looking down towards her legs. 

“I was rushed…. Stop it! Just don’t look there!” yelled Lila, pulling her robe over her legs.

“I was just making a statement Ms. Green, you need not get so self conscious about it. Now then, since I’ve quit smoking, I need something else to keep me going. Caffeine has helped, but I need more, I need a large dosage. That injection worked… mostly… it just needs some minor tweaks. I would have been perfectly fine without you coming in on me and thrusting yourself upon me like a heathen”

“A heathen! How dare you! I just saved your life, if anything, I deserve a thank you, or at least more respect! How dare you call me a heathen! You ungrateful louse!” yelled Lila standing up and stomping away. Mrs. Hudson looked at Sherlock and shook her head, knowing full well that her dear Sherlock had very much screwed up. 

“How about dinner then, my dear heathen?” called Sherlock.

There was no response so he quickly got off the floor and barged into John’s/Lila’s room. She turned quickly, covering herself up. She has disrobed and was now showing more skin than ever before. 

“Knocking is always an option!” yelled Lila, trying to cover herself as best she could. 

“I never knock when John is here, why should I do any differently for you?” he asked blindly, staring at Lila. 

“Because I’m a woman… and also because I’m not as close to you and John is…”

“What does being a woman have to do with anything?” asked Sherlock, now huffing out in anger. 

“… seriously Sherlock? You really don’t know what being a woman has to do with this?”

“… Is it simply because you have breasts? Dear God Lila, I have seen breasts before, they are nothing new to me. It’s all anatomy, plain and simple. You need not get so worked up over something so simple” said Sherlock, trying to show his pride as best he could. 

“Would you be comfortable if I walked in on your completely naked?”

“No, but then again, that’s why I lock my door”

“So you’re telling me you’re completely comfortable with me and my womanly body… it doesn’t bother you?” asked Lila, now toying with Sherlock's emotions. 

“Yes, that’s exactly what I mean”

“Very well then” said Lila, allowing the robe to slide down off her shoulder to expose part of her breast. Although Sherlock was not one to blush, he did certain have a moment. He was taken aback. Perhaps by her full trust, or perhaps by the fact that she had a beautiful body. Either way, he could feel his discomfort grow. He tried to hard to read her at that moment, but absolutely nothing came up”

“Dinner, heathen?” he asked, walking out the door

“Yes, dinner would be a nice way to thank me for saving your life” said Lila, yelling to make sure he could hear. She certainly felt proud of herself for finally forcing Sherlock out of his comfort zone, but at the same time, she had hoped for more of a reaction, but what he gave her would do for then. She would have to work on him. 

For the rest of the day, Sherlock was out and about, and Lila was busy filling out different job applications. She has spoken to John earlier about working in his offices as a secretary first, and moving up from there. She had finally secured a job in a law firm as a secretary as well as working at John’s office. After such an eventful day, she put on her nicest little black dress and a pair of heeled boots. Her hair was naturally wavy so she kept it just as it was. There wasn’t much need for makeup on Lila’s face, she had a naturally beautiful completion and makeup only emphasized it more. Once she was ready, she stepped outside the room, and waited in the living room for Sherlock. He was nowhere in sight. She waited for a few minutes and finally she walked to his door and knocked. First very softly, but after having not answered, she knocked louder. There was no answer. She tugged on the knob but it was locked. Back in Lila’s school, she used to get locked out constantly because she was late, so she had picked up a few tricks of unlocking doors. She took a bobby pin out of her hair and began fooling with the lock. To her pleasant surprise, it unlocked. She stepped inside and there were knickknacks and things everywhere. Sherlock’s room was covered with documents, and little objects. There were test tubes all along the floor and there were glass fragments next to the bed. Along the wall were newspaper clippings. As she looked closer, she realized they were all about him. Sherlock’s bed was neatly made, but the rest of his room was a disaster. He had his own bathroom, which surprised her. When she walked closer, she heard water running. She knocked but no one answered. When Lila pushed open the door, she saw Sherlock laying in the tub with sticky things all up and down his arms. She rushed to him, turning the water off. 

“Sherlock, Sherlock can you hear me?” she asked, but there was no answer. She checked his vitals and everything seemed to be working, but his skin was oddly discolored. She took a closer look at the sticky things on his arms and noticed they had little wires in them. “You are trying to kill yourself aren’t you? Should I just let you die, or should I help you yet again. You know I got ready for dinner, did my makeup and everything and here you are, not giving a single care in the world about anything except murdering your own body. Well I can’t let you die because I want to tell this to you when you’re conscious” said Lila, ripping off the stickers on his arms. Sherlock still didn’t wake and it was beginning to worry Lila. She knew this wasn’t something that mouth to mouth could help. She pulled him out of the bathtub and onto the bathroom floor. She wrapped him in towels and continued to check his vitals. “I’m not ruining my one good dress just for you Sherlock, so you’ll have to excuse the undergarments” said Lila as she slipped out of her dress and hung it on the door hook. She began pounding on his chest, trying to get some reaction out of him. When that didn’t work, she tried mouth to mouth, but that also didn’t work. Lila was now truly worried and she rushed back to her room for her own personal medical kit. She found an injection that was used for someone whose heart rate was slowing down. She ran back to Sherlock’s bathroom and stuck the needle in his chest. After five seconds, Sherlock’s eyes opened wide and he let out a scream. Lila put a towel in his mouth and waited for his screams to subside. Once he had calmed down, she removed the towel and looked down at him. His color had come back and he was beginning to shake. 

“Now before you go off on one of your rants about my clothing, I didn’t want to ruin my dress, so I took it off before continuing saving your life, for a second time today. I have a simple question for you, are you suicidal?” asked Lila, not getting off of Sherlock. 

“You’re in my room…”

“Yes… your bathroom to be exact”

“John’s never been in here”

“Well I’m going to assume John has also never had to restart your heart in your bathroom. What were you thinking?” 

“One of my clients used these in the bathtub and died. I knew that wasn’t what killed him, so I wanted to see for myself”

“What if that was what had killed him? You can’t just go around experimenting with yourself!” said Lila being very parental. 

“How did you get into my room?” he asked, still a little groggy. 

“I broke in… I’m clever, I know. So now then… are you stable? Well, as stable as you can be, considering you’re you”

“Yes”

“Good” said Lila, beginning to stand up. Sherlock pulled her back down on top of him and stared into her eyes. 

“You’re lingerie matches” said Sherlock, staring straight into her soul. 

“Yes, they do… your point?” asked Lila, getting uncomfortable at everything he noticed. 

“I know women well enough to know that rarely do they ever wear matching lingerie unless they expect to be seen or unless they want something out of it. Usually, they don’t wear nice lacy undergarments that seem particularly new and unworn. You wore these for a special occasion, didn’t you?” asked Sherlock, holding on to Lila’s wrists. 

“Yes, I wore them for myself. I have every right to go all out for myself” said Lila, trying to play it cool. 

“Liar… I can tell you’re lying by your pulse. You are feeling sexually attracted to me at this very moment. I thought you didn’t like me?” asked Sherlock, now sitting up, his face inches from hers. 

“I don’t like you… one bit… you bother me”

“Mhmm”

“You make my skin crawl, and you anger me”

“Mhmm”

“Besides which, I could never love a man who loves his work more than me…” said Lila jolting up and walking out of the bathroom.

“Are we still on for dinner?” yelled Sherlock.

“Yes, but I’m not dressing up now. You’ll have to deal with me in leggings and a sweater” yelled Lila, slamming the door. 

“Is this black dress yours?” he asked, taking it off the hook to examine it.

Lila came back into his room now wearing a pair of black leggings and a baby blue oversized sweater. She grabbed the dress out of his hands and stared at him. 

“Yes, and now you won’t be able to see me in it” she said, turning back to leave. 

The two of them walked to a café nearby and ordered a simple pasta. The man at the café apparently owed Sherlock something, so the dinner was complimentary. Sherlock was busy looking out the window at a man in all black. Lila had had enough and got up to leave. Sherlock followed close behind but when she was going to turn right, he pulled her arm and they walked left. 

“Have you ever been on a chase?” asked Sherlock.

“A chase? Like a car chase?” asked Lila

“Yes, except on foot”

“No, never”

“How fast are you, when running?”

“Very. I did track for many years”

“See that man in the black coat…”

“Yes”

“We’re going to follow him… in three…two…one”

Immediately the man sprinted off. Sherlock and Lila followed close behind. They ran out in front of taxi’s and down alleyways. They lost him at one point, but Sherlock pulled Lila along down an alleyway where they crossed paths with the man in black. He climbed up onto the roof of a house and the two followed behind him. Lila’s adrenaline was running and she was feeling herself being practically pulled off the ground. Sherlock laughed out loud causes Lila to laugh. The experience was out of body. The man turned around and pulled out a gun. Sherlock fought the man to the ground and the gun went flying towards Lila. She picked it up and pointed it towards the man in black. 

“Hello, I’m Sherlock Holmes, and I have every intention of sending you to jail, where you belong”

“I didn’t do nothin”

“On the contrary, I believe you’re the one who’s been murdering all those women… I have proof and I have every intention to have your head for this”

Sherlock pulled the man along back to the apartment. Once they got back, Lila placed the gun in the kitchen next to a pile of dirty dishes. Sherlock practically through the man onto the sofa and began questioning him. Within minutes he got the answer he desired. He found out who the man had been working for, why he did what he did, and the consequences if the man were to disobey his employer. Sherlock let him leave, keeping a close eye on him as he walked out of the building. Lila cleaned up the dished in the sink and when she was done, she sat down in John’s chair as she watched this man pace the floor. Finally he stopped, falling to the ground and laying on his back. 

“Isn’t it amazing how something so small can be connected to a government case? That man was taking orders, from a very powerful man in America. It amazes me how simple it can be. I’ll have to get in touch with my brother tomorrow… or perhaps just take his ID. Did you enjoy the chase?” 

“It was thrilling I must admit. I can see why you get a high off of this”

“It keeps me alive” he said as he crawled up on his knees and placed his head in Lila’s lap. At first she tensed up but then when she looked down at him, he reminded her of a child. She ran her fingers through his hair as he breathed heavily on her lap, his arms hung to her sides as he allowed her to basically pet him. After a while he pulled himself up and pulled Lila up beside him. Sherlock walked over to John’s room and pushed Lila inside. “Get some sleep, you have a big work day tomorrow” he said as he closed the door and went to his bedroom. Without thinking, Lila opened the door and ran up to Sherlock, grabbing his hand. 

“Please don’t try to kill yourself tonight… I’m too tired to save you for a third time” she laughed as she walked back into the bedroom. He grinned slightly and closed his bedroom door behind him. The both of them slept all the way through the night without tossing or turning. 

The next morning Lila heard a quiet knock on her door. At first she ignored it, but then she heard Mrs. Hudson’s voice coming from the other side. She groaned and told the landowner to come in. The door unlocked and in came Mrs. Hudson with a tray of tea and muffins. Lila sat up but was pushed back down in bed by a major headache. 

“Good morning sweetie. No need to get up, Sherlock told me about all the activities that went on yesterday” she said as she sat down on the bed next to Lila and handed her some tea. 

“Oh… this is too thoughtful. Thank you so much, you’re absolutely wonderful. God my head hurts”

“That’s probably the chemical whatever that Sherlock has been cooking up in the kitchen, the smell is horrible, I’ve opened all the windows, but it doesn’t get rid of all of it”

“W-What? Why is he cooking chemicals? Ugh, we had this talk” moaned Lila as she laid back down in bed. Ms. Hudson set down the tray and pulled down the covers. 

“It’s time to get up deary and head to work” she said as she searching through the closet for Lila’s clothes. She pulled out the small black dress that Lila had once worn. “Oh dear, I don’t think this would be appropriate for a doctor’s office… especially at 11:00 in the morning… I remember the days when I could wear something like this. Oh these pants are nice, along with this button-down shirt. You better wear some high heel boots though, it’s raining outside. But don’t think for a second that I’m going to do this for you often. I’m not your housekeeper” said Mrs. Hudson as she left the room, leaving the door wide open. Lila groaned as she stepped out of bed to shut the door. The smell of cinnamon rolls wafted through her nose. She walked into the kitchen and to her surprise Sherlock was pulling out a tray of cinnamon rolls. There were test tubes on the counter right where Sherlock was about to place the tray. Lila ran over to the bathroom and grabbed the tray from Sherlock’s hands and placed it on the other counter on the other side of the room. 

“I’m not letting you put these delicious smelling rolls next to those chemicals”

“I wasn’t going to… ugh never mind… just sit down and eat. I have lots of important things to do today and I need you out of the apartment, so eat and then leave” he said, grabbing some cinnamon rolls and placing them in front of Lila. 

“What’s so important?” she asked, sipping on her tea as she looked up at Sherlock who has his nose buried in a newspaper. He set the newspaper down on the counter and looked at Lila for a long while. Finally he spoke. 

“I’m going to engage in sexual activities with a woman…”

“You’re a horrible liar Sherlock, we all know that your sexual active life has yet to begin” said Lila as she put down her cup and went inside her room to change clothes. Sherlock stood there for a moment, questioning Lila’s judgment, but soon decided to drop it. Lila threw on her coat and ran out the door heading to John’s office. It was her first day of work and already she was stressed out. There were more patients than she had anticipated which meant making appointments and dealing with everyone’s complaining. Her work day at John’s office finally ended at 4:00. She then took the metro to a law firm called “Jones&Jones” which dealt with criminal cases. She began work at the law firm at 5:00 and didn’t finish till 9:00 at night. Although there were few hours with both jobs, between the two jobs it was a full day. She arrived back at the apartment around 9:45 to a complete surprise. When she opened the door, the first thing her eyes saw was a corpse laying on the living room floor. When she opened the door a little wider she noticed a blood trail leading into John’s room. When she opened the door to her temporary bedroom she found yet another dead corpse laid out on her bed. She couldn’t help but let out a tiny squeal, but she quickly covered her mouth. She quietly closed the door and inched away, walking backwards. She bumped into someone, quickly turning around the find Sherlock in his nice outfit. He had blood splotches on his forehead and he looked tired. Lila set her purse down and grabbed a Kleenex, wiping his face slowly, making sure he didn’t react immediately. 

“I’m afraid I can’t get anyone in to clean up the apartment until tomorrow… Dave wouldn’t come down, even though I threatened to tell everyone about his Christmas with Mrs. Hudson. I didn’t mean for the body to end up in your bedroom…” he whispered. 

“It’s okay... kinda sorta... I’m more worried about you, are you okay?” she asked, wiping blood off his hair. 

“I’m fine. I didn’t want you to be here, as you can see, I was expecting visitors. I didn’t think there would be three of them”

“Three? I’ve only seen two… where’s the-“

“Don’t go into the kitchen…”

“Sherlock-“

“Sorry”

“It’s just… where am I supposed to sleep tonight? I can’t go into my apartment because it’s still freshly painted… aka… just a little toxic… So where am I sleeping tonight, now that you’ve… given my bed away…” asked Lila as she looked up at Sherlock, wide eyed. 

“… You can sleep in my room tonight”

“Oh…uh... can't lie, I still don't think we're close enough for that...”

"We've straddeled each other, put each other in compromising possitions, and I've basically seen you naked... how close do you expect us to get?"

"I wasn't naked..."

“I’ll get some blankets out of my closet and place them on the floor for you”

“SHERLOCK! You’re going to make me sleep on the floor! You know you could have at least had the curtsy to let me sleep at the edge of your bed! On the floor! It’s your fault there’s a dead man in my room!” yelled Lila as she stomped her foot. 

“I don’t share… I’ll get you some blankets” he said as he walked into the room, shutting the door behind himself. Lila awkwardly walked back into her room, changing her clothes as quickly as possible and almost slamming the door behind herself. She knocked on Sherlock’s door and there was no answer. She knocked again and finally she heard movement from the other side. Sherlock opened the door for her and when she looked inside, she realized the room was completely spotless. There was a little nest, which Sherlock had made on the floor at the foot of the bed. There were about ten blankets all piled up on top of each other and pillows making it look like a human cave. 

“You cleaned up, just for me? How sweet” said Lila as she walked inside and took a look around. 

“Well… I didn’t want you to mess up any of my projects… You sleep there” he said as he pointed at the nest he made. 

“Romantic” she muttered.

“I think not”

“It’s called sarcasm Sherlock, learn about it” she said as she crawled into the nest. It was actually pretty comfortable, but she couldn’t help but have a fluttery feeling in her heart as she thought about Sherlock sleeping in the bed above her. She hated the fact that she reacted so intensely to the thought of Sherlock. Lila wanted so much to dislike him, but God he sure knew how to anger a woman into complete seduction. She couldn’t remember falling asleep but she certainly remembered waking up around 2:00 in the morning breathing heavily. She had a dream about the corpses in the apartment and suddenly the thought of her father had come to her. She sat up in her little nest, breathing heavily and she could feel the sweat on the back of her neck. She whimpered a little but covered her mouth quickly, in fear of waking Sherlock. Too late. 

“Oh dear me, Lila are you going to be a bother all night long? Come on up here, you obviously won’t be able to stop bothering me unless you sleep in the bed. Come.” He said as he pulled down the covers next to him. Lila crawled out of her nest and into Sherlock’s bed. He created a pillow wall between the two of them and rolled on his side, his back facing Lila. She laid down and closed her eyes. Within minutes Lila had fallen fast asleep, which is more than anyone could say for Sherlock. His eyes stayed wide open and his breathing was as steady as ever. Once he realized that Lila was asleep, he turned over to her and very gently placed his fingers in her hair, pulling it away from her eyes. He looked at her in a way that she would never be able to fully understand. His heart almost ached, causing him to worry. He quickly turned around and closed his eyes. In the morning he woke to a pair of arms holding him tightly. He finally fully realized that Lila was holding onto him tightly, cuddling his side. He quickly jumped out of bed and was relieved of the strange situation. Lila grunted a little but went back to her peaceful slumber. After a few minutes of talking to a very irriated Dave on the phone, the police came to clean up the mess. Sherlock locked his bedroom door so that no one would bother Lila, or see her sleeping in his bed. The entire apartment was almost completely cleaned and John’s room was looking back to normal. Dave walked over to Sherlock’s door and tried opening it, when it was locked he yelled out to Sherlock who quickly shushed him. 

“Sherlock, this door needs to be opened! We have a warrant to deal with the ENTIRE apartment” said Dave, already done with Sherlock’s shit. 

“There’s nothing in there, it’s my room” he said very plainly.

“Sherlock, open the damn door, don’t make this difficult”

“There’s really nothing in there that could possibly interest you” said Sherlock as he put his hands in his pockets. 

“Fine, play that game. Officers! Hold this man down and find his keys. We need one to open this door” yelled Dave. Two officer’s came from behind Sherlock and grabbed him, pushing him down to the floor. Dave got a hold of the keys and unlocked Sherlock’s bedroom door. It wasn't that Dave needed to take extreme measures, but it did give him pleasure to watch Sherlock struggle and loose. When he opened the door, he found a sleeping Lila with disheveled hair sprawled across this man’s bed. Dave turned to look at Sherlock and gave him a look. 

“Don’t look at me like that, it’s not what you think” said Sherlock, totally not amused. 

“Sherlock… I didn’t think you’d ever find someone… you HOUND DOG you! Way to go! I’m glad you’ve finally found someone, she’s a keeper Sherlock… To be quite honest, I’m surprised she went for someone like you. I can see why you’d want to hide her away, she’s stunning. Alright boys, let him go, he’s been found guilty of hiding a beautiful woman in his bed. Haha! Oh this will be a good memory now when I see you, I’ll think of this moment. Your apartment is clean, enjoy you day Prince Charming” laughed Dave as he closed Sherlock’s bedroom door, leaving the sleeping Lila alone. The officer’s left the apartment and Mrs. Hudson came into the room setting down some tea. She looked around for Lila, who was nowhere to be seen. She noticed that Sherlock’s door was not completely shut and she reached out to close it. She saw in the door crack, Lila sleeping in Sherlock’s bed. She grinned, laughing to herself. 

“Well Sherlock, looks like you’ll be busy for the day, you rascal you. I’m happy for you” said Mrs. Hudson as she pinched Sherlock’s cheek and left the apartment. He simply closed the door behind her and let out a sigh. For next hour Sherlock was online breaking into government sites and figuring out where he would be needed next. There was noise coming from his bedroom and he walked in to see if she was finally awake. Not only was she awake, but she was sitting up in bed holding a stuffed elephant near her chest. 

“Where did you get that?” he asked, now staring into her eyes. 

“It was under the bed, on your side. What’s his name?” 

“… Red… now put him back where you found him” he said very plainly. If it was anyone else, they might have been offended, but this was Lila, a young woman who couldn’t be hurt by anything he had to say. 

“Do you cuddle with him at night?” she asked, placing him back on the floor under the bed. 

“No… I don’t cuddle… which is more than I can say about you” he scoffed. 

“I apologize if I wasn’t spatially aware last night. I move a lot in my sleep, I’ve been known to hit and kick people”

“Quite opposite of that, you held onto me… it was deeply uncomfortable. The apartment has been cleaned, so you can return to your room, although you do have work tonight. John called and said he had no desire to open up the office this morning so he was letting you off the hook today. Now get out of my bed so I can clean the sheets to get rid of your scent” he said as he began pulling at the covers. 

“And what is my scent?” she asked, walking up beside Sherlock and flaunting her bare legs. 

“Burnt cinnamon”

“… That sounds… I can’t take that as a compliment” she said as she crossed her arms and glared at the man next to her. 

“You wanted the truth, and I gave it to you. Now go and eat, and then leave me alone. I have work to do” he said as he threw the sheets on the floor. Lila left the room and walked into the kitchen, which was spotless. Obviously she must have done something right. Mrs. Husdon headed back up to Sherlock’s apartment and ran into Lila in the kitchen. 

“Oh hello my dear, you must have slept very well. I’m so happy for the two of you” giggled the old woman. 

“What?”

“Well, I’m sure you two were up to quite the shenanigans last night, I’m glad Sherlock has finally found someone to enjoy that with” she said as she patted Lila’s hand. 

“What are you talking about?”

“Well dear, no need to act like you don’t know, I saw you asleep in Sherlock’s room, as did Dave. There’s no hiding it now deary” said Mrs. Hudson as she winked to Lila and grabbed a lighter “I’m just going to borrow this, I’ve run out of matches” and with that she left the room. Lila walked quickly to Sherlock’s bedroom and leaned against the door frame with her arms crossed. 

“What do you want?” he asked

“Dave and Mrs. Hudson came into the room while I was asleep in your bed?! Do you realize what kind of rumors that will start!?” she asked, now truly upset at the thought. 

“Well we both know that nothing happened” he said very nonchalantly. 

“Yes but THEY don’t know that… I don’t want people thinking I slept with you!”

“Why? Do I repulse you? Would it embarrass you?” he asked, now turning to look at the angry woman standing in the doorway. 

“Well you’re not exactly someone I would want to engage in sexual activities with… I mean really Sherlock, romance with you is probably like making love to a metal pole. You just give off that vibe, besides which, I don’t need people assuming things” she said as she left Sherlock’s room and went into her own to change her clothes. Sherlock went back to cleaning the sheets and about an hour later Lila emerged from the room completely dressed with her hair and makeup done. Sherlock had finally finished making the bed with the new sheets and was leaving his room, which was the cause for him to run into Lila in the hallway. They both looked at each other for a moment and she finally broke contact and began walking away. Sherlock quickly grabbed Lila’s wrist and pushed her into the wall. He pressed his body against hers and put his lips right up against her ear. His hands roamed away from her wrists and onto her hips and up to her ribs. Lila’s breathing quickened as she stood there silently and as still as possible. Her heart was practically pounding out of her chest. 

“Like making love to a metal pole, you say? I think the only one who is acting like a metal pole is you Lila, don’t try to play my game, you won’t win” and with that Sherlock let go of her and walked into the living room, falling into the couch with a computer in his lap. For a moment she didn’t move, she didn’t dare. Finally when her senses were back to normal, she pushed herself off the wall, grabbed her purse and left the apartment. She had one last night to sleep at Sherlock’s, and she had no idea what to expect. 

**************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

“Lila, would you mind taking over for me? I know this really isn’t your job title, however I know that you have the knowledge to do this. I have to leave early, you would only have to see about four people and then you could leave. They’re simple things, a pain in a young girls ear, a rash on a man’s arm, possibly a broken finger, and someone needs their shots today. Pretty straight forward, I’m sure you can handle it” said John as he put his coat on, watching Lila at her desk. 

“Oh… yeah of course, that shouldn’t be too difficult. I’ll close up when I’m done” she said as she stood from her desk and put a white coat on. Once John had left the office, the first patient came in, a little girl with her mother. The little girl had a sour face as she walked into the office. “Hello honey, I hear you’ve got a bit of a soar ear, mind if I take a look?” 

“Will it hurt?”

“No sweetie, I’m just going to take a look and if you have an infection, I’m going to give you some drops that your mother will be able to put in your ear. Would you mind laying down?” asked Lila, grabbing the little girls hand and picking her up, placing her on the cot. The rest of the appointments were pretty calm and easy. Lila finished around 7:30 and just as she was about to leave, she got a call on the phone. Deciding not to ignore it, she picked it up. It was a man with a very thick French accent who had apparently been injured somehow and was in dire need of being taken care of. Lila told him to come over as soon as possible, even though she herself wasn’t completely sure if she could help him. A man in a large drench coat walked through the door coughing loudly. She accompanied him back to a room and he laid himself on the cot, covering his nose with a large handkerchief. As Lila reached down to take it off, the man grabbed her wrist and looked up at her. 

“Close ze door” he whispered. 

“I beg your pardon?” she asked, pulling her hand away. 

“Close ze door” he said again. Lila did as he said, but made sure to leave it a bit cracked, and placed her phone near the door, in case of any emergency. Lila walked back to the man laying down and grabbed the handkerchief, showing a bloody face. She couldn’t see any details of the face because it was completely covered in blood. She quickly went to work cleaning off all the blood and that’s when she realized.

“… Sherlock!”

“Aha, I would have thought you could figure that out sooner…” he groaned. 

“… You could have just told me it was you, rather than faking some phony accent, it freaked me out”

“Well you must have felt somewhat comfortable with me, you let me in after all” he said.

“I suppose… so tell me what happened, I’ll get you cleaned up” she said, getting a cloth and cleaning off his face. 

“It seems I’ve gotten into specific government files that I shouldn’t have been around, now they want to kill me…” he said as plainly as possible. 

“Oh, the usual” said Lila as she finally cleaned off all the blood on his face. “They beat you badly, you’re going to have bruises till the day you die… Nothing it infected or broken it looks… You will need stitches near your left ear, looks like they got you pretty badly. Anything else that’s hurt?” 

“Of course, they didn’t just want to ruin my pretty face,” he said as he sat up to take his coat off. He was unable to fully reach behind him so Lila helped him take off his coat. There was blood soaking through his white shirt, even his black pants had bloodstains. 

“Oh my God… Sherlock… you’re bleeding… everywhere. Look if I’m going to help, you need to get out of those clothes. I’ll hand you a hospital gown” she said as she ran to the office to get one. Sherlock stripped out of his clothing and was left standing in his underwear. Lila came back and it took her a moment to realize what she was looking at. She quickly handed him the gown and he put it on, sliding his underwear off and handing them to her. She gave him a look, and grabbed them, taking the rest of his clothes and placing them on a chair. He laid back down in the cot and Lila began to work. She first worked on his chest, which they both soon realized he had one broken rib. She did the best she could with what she had. 

“Look, the broken ribs will just have to be, I’ll get them fixed, however there a little something that’s just a tad more important than that… They may or may not have broken something else…”

“What? What is it?” she asked, looking him up and down. 

“It’s rather personal, and I don’t trust just anyone with this… This is important to me that you don’t tell anyone!” he said, making uncomfortable eye contact. 

“What is it?!”

Sherlock moved his hand down his chest towards his hips. He stopped for a moment, letting his hand linger near his hips.

“Oh… um… well okay, let me take a look, I’ll see what I can” said Lila as she felt the redness in her cheeks spread all the way down to her arms. She reached her hands down towards his hospital gown, ready to lift it to see the damage. Her fingers touched the gown and she began to lift it, as slowly as she possibly could. Sherlock’s hands immediately grabbed hers and he pulled her close. 

“I was joking with you… everything is fine down below with the exception of a few cuts and bruises… in fact, everything is perfect below the hips” 

“Don’t joke like that! My god, I almost saw your…. UGH! You really are a piece of work, if you want my help, fine, but don’t be an ass about it”

“I was just making sure you reacted the way I wanted you to” he said

“And did I?” 

“Yes, perfectly”

“Screw you… in fact… do your own stitches” said Lila, leaving the room and walking into the employee room, closing the door behind her. Sherlock finally felt the guilt somewhat, but before it took over, he pushed it back down and walked over the room. Please open the door Lila, for obvious reasons, I cant do my own stitches, I might possibly miss, and puncture a vein” he said matter of factually. No one answered. He knocked again, this time a little louder. “I could be dying of blood loss and you’re busy sulking because I played a trick with your emotions!”

He had had enough waiting and kicked the rather flimsy door wide open to reveal Lila changing into a red dress. She wasn’t fully dressed yet so her bra was still showing through. She turned to look at Sherlock, shocked to see the broken door. 

“I’m not paying for that” she said as she pulled the dress on. 

“Why are you changing clothes?”

“I have a date tonight and you’ve made me very late. You obviously don’t appreciate everything I do for you, so I’m leaving. Take care of yourself” 

“What… stop it! I’m bleeding!” he yelled. 

“Then put a band-aid on” she mumbled. 

“… Why are you so immature”

“I could say the same to you. In case you forgot, I’ve had to save your life twice from you almost killing yourself… also thanks to me spilling acid all over your kitchen floor, it’s now clean and you aren’t in danger, ALSO I allowed you to come in here, make me late to my date to help you and in return you play some stupid trick on me. It’s not funny…”

“I-I am sorry…”

“…”

“I’m not saying it again… now then, stitch me up” he said as he left the room and went back to the cot. Lila finished stitching Sherlock up and once they were done, she locked up and ran to the café around the corner. There was a young man awkwardly sitting at a table by himself next to the window. She ran up to him, giving him a big hug. 

“I’m so so so so so sorry that I’m so late! I took over work for my boss and there were extra clients that I certainly didn’t expect. I’m sorry to have left you waiting, have you eaten?” 

“No it’s quite alright… I’m just glad you came, I can’t lie, I thought you might have ditched” said the quiet man. 

“no no no, of course not. I’m not that kind of girl. Anyways, how has your day been?” 

As the evening progressed Lila soon began to realize just how boring this man was. He spoke of his family and his love for them, which was sweet for the first hour, but soon she realized that his family was all he ever talked about. He never went out to socialize, never went out to the movies and worked from home, so he could be closer to his family. All in all, Lila knew she had to end the date somehow.

“Excuse me, but I don’t mean to intervene, my name is Charles and I believe this young woman was supposed to have dinner with me tonight” said a familiar voice from behind Lila. She turned to see Sherlock standing behind her with his shirt unbuttoned at the top. He had obviously changed clothes. 

“I’m sorry, you must be wrong, we’re having a date at the moment” whispered the shy man. 

“Oh, you must have been her second dinner date, she was late right?” he asked. 

“Y-Yes she was, but that doesn’t bother me-“

“Yes, she was late because we were making love in the back seat of my car… I paid her handsomely and I just realized that we never went out for dinner, which is what she told me we would do. I’m so sorry to do this, but I must steal her away from you” said Sherlock as he pulled Lila’s chair, grabbing her arm and pulling her towards the door. 

“Y-You paid her?” said the shy man, now giving Lila a weird look. 

“A hansom amount” winked Sherlock as he drug her out the door and into the cold air.

“I cannot believe you just told that guy that I was basically a prostitute” whispered Lila as Sherlock continued to hold onto her arm until they changed streets. 

“Well, it certainly looked like you were pretty miserable in there, do you want me to take you back there?” he asked, stopping in the middle of the street. 

“NO…” she said, pulling him along. 

“It was a clever act wasn’t it?”

“It was okay… so… how much did you pay me to make love to you in the back of your car?” asked Lila, now amused by their game. 

“100 Euros”

“… That’s it?! For sex in the back of your car? That’s basically nothing… God you must think I’m cheap” scoffed Lila as they turned onto Baker street. 

“Well what’s the usual payment for a lady of the night?”

“300 to 700 Euros, since I’m not a super high class prostitute. If I was someone special to a very rich man, thousands.”

“That’s so much! For sex, for one hour?!”

“It’s sex Sherlock… it’s literally a random stranger boning a woman… who is being paid to do WHATEVER you want… the money is just to keep her safe…”

“Why do you know so much about prostitutes?”

“Because I was one”

“WHAT?”

“Joking! Gosh, I’m just joking, calm down. I had to do my senior thesis on women in different countries who work on the streets and what their living conditions were. It’s horrifying in Asia…”

“Hmm… I wouldn’t have been surprised if you were a-“

“Don’t even think about saying the rest of that thought”

“Fine…”

“Question Sherlock, I can’t say we’re terribly close for me to be asking this, but I’m curious, are you a virgin?” asked Lila as she kept her eyes straight ahead. 

“… Yes… would you like to change that?” he asked, a little weirded out by the question. 

“NO! I was just… um… I was just curious… no I’d rather not be the person who changes that… you should find someone you love Sherlock… do you have something against sex?”

“What? NO… No… I’ve just never had any need for it, nor any desire to deal with the damaging emotions that happen afterwards. I’ve watched my brother practically grovel on the ground after sleeping with a woman, I’d rather not go through that. It’s a silly human emotion, everyone builds up sex to be something wonderful, but when it’s done, the magic is gone. The pheromones that build up in ones body are no longer-“

“STOP… You make sex sound like an office job. Obviously your nose is stuck in a book. Some things you just have to experience in real life, not in some internet article, or book written in the 1800’s. Maybe you should hire a prostitute…” laughed Lila as she opened the door the 221 Baker Street. 

“Are you offering?” he asked, closing the door. 

“Again, I’m not a prostitute, never was. And no, I’m not offering to have sex with you” said Lila as she began walking up the stairs. She stopped midway to watch Sherlock open the door to her apartment. “What are you doing? It’s technically not safe to go in there until tomorrow.”

“It’s fine, the paint dried two days ago, the smell went away yesterday. You wouldn’t die being in here. Come look” he said as he turned the lights on. The apartment looked absolutely stunning. The green paint was exactly what Lila had hoped for. The emerald reflected off the wall into the mirrors and glass all around. The apartment looked elegant, and fit for a queen. All of her furniture had been put back exactly where she wanted it. She ran into her bedroom where her beautiful king sized bed sat next to a window that opened up to a sidewalk. She could see people’s feet as they walked by. 

“It’s just as I imagined! It’s perfect!” she squealed. 

“Yes, this will do nicely. It’s still a little small for an apartment, as I had once said before, you don’t plan on being single forever, but at the moment, it will work for you. Will you be getting any animals?”

“I’ve been thinking about getting a cat”

“Ugh”

“Luckily it’s my cat… not yours…”

“What did you do to the guest bedroom?” he asked as he walked in to find an office space. 

“I turned it into an office space, but the couch folds out into a bed in case anyone needs to sleep over.”

“Yes, this will do nicely” he mumbled. 

“Well if I can sleep here already, then I’ll just get my things and stay here from now on, since it is my apartment after all”

“Yes, you should get out of the apartment so I can give John his room. I’m sure he misses it” said Sherlock leaving the apartment and walking upstairs. Lila followed behind and grabbed all of her things. She handed Sherlock the key and went back to her apartment, quickly shutting the door behind her. When she felt the comfort of her own home again, she threw off all of her clothes and danced around the entire apartment, laughing at herself. A few minutes later she heard a knock on her door. After throwing on a robe and stomping to the door, she opened it to reveal a Sherlock in his robe with a folded shirt, pants, underwear, socks, and shoes, and a toiletry bag. 

“Um… what?” she asked, taken aback by this view. 

“I’m spending the night tonight. We’re going to have a what you people call “sleepover” and you’re going to tell me everything there is to know about human emotions, from your perspective” he said, pushing beside her and placing all of his things in the office/guest bedroom. 

“Um no… I don’t think that’s an idea that I like. We can talk about this some other time, during the day. Why do you want to spend the night?” asked Lila, suddenly throwing her hands over her mouth in realization. “Are you trying to have sex with me?”

“Oh for goodness sake, John wants to bring his girlfriend back to the apartment so he has kicked me out. He’s worried I’ll scare her away.”

“Oh… actually that seems logical. Well I’m tired, so I have no intention of staying up just to satisfy your need to learn about human emotions. I’m going to bed, the bathroom is across my bedroom. Lock the door” said Lila as she walked into her room, closing the door and turning the lights off. Sherlock made himself at home on her couch, opening his computer he searched for “human emotions in the eyes of humans”. For a few hours he read articles, watched videos, listened to interviews. It didn’t do him any good since he already knew the logic behind everything. Sherlock closed his computer and walked over Lila’s door. He quietly opened it to reveal a sleeping woman buried under her covers. Sherlock closed the door behind him, sliding into her covers he very awkwardly put his arm around her. She moved a little bit, but didn’t wake. This is, what he thought was called, cuddling. He tried it for a few moments but the discomfort grew inside of him and he stopped. He quietly leaned over Lila, his face inches from hers. As his lips almost touched hers, he was stopped by a hand pressing against his stomach. 

“What are you doing?” she asked. 

“I was going to kiss you”

“Without my consent… while I’m asleep in bed…”

“Well you’re not asleep now”

“There are so many legal issues with everything you’re doing right now” she mumbled, sitting up in bed and turning on the bedside light. 

“I was curious, besides you’re the one who kept offering to have sex with me”

“I WASN’T OFFERING! Jeez… I just meant that some day you should do it with someone, not me. Also, why would you want to kiss me. I’m sure there are plenty of other people you could kiss… and while I’m sleeping… you’re actually really creepy Sherlock” said Lila crossing her arms. 

“I was curious” was all Sherlock said. The answer annoyed Lila so she finally unhooked her arms, threw the sheets off of her and straddled Sherlock. His face immediately changed from a smirk to complete shock and a little horror. Lila grabbed Sherlock’s face with both of her hands and looked him in the eyes. She let out a huff of air and forcefully placed her lips on his. Although at first it was forceful, she gentle calmed down and the kiss was more timid and passionate. The kiss lasted only a few seconds and finally Lila broke it off. She looked down at Sherlock who’s face still hadn’t changed.

“Still curious?” she asked, sitting back on her heels, nonetheless straddling Sherlock. 

“N-No… Um… You have soft lips, but the pressure during the kiss changed” he said as all the thoughts ran through his head quickly. 

“Yes I know”

“Hm… that’s not exactly what I expected… but rather close. The only reason people kiss is because they hope it leads to intercour-“

“Stop that thought, that’s not true. I don’t care what your sciences have told you, I don’t believe that. Sometimes you just want to kiss someone because emotions take over and you want them to be close. It doesn’t have to lead to sex, it’s just a way to be able to touch the person lovingly. However, when you hire a prostitute, don’t be surprised if she tells you she doesn’t want to kiss… even though sex may seem like a deal breaker, kissing can lead to strong emotions… one single kiss can make you attached to someone for life”

“Interesting… you’re especially emotional for a normal person, and yet very analytical.”

“I try, now then, have I helped you get over your curiosity?” she asked, rolling over to her side of the bed. 

“Part of it, but we still haven’t slept together”

“And we’re not going to. Now go to the guest bedroom Sherlock, goodnight” said Lila turning off the bedside lamp and pulling the covers over her head. Once Sherlock left the room, Lila’s face grew into a huge smile that she couldn’t get rid of. She fell asleep with a grin on her lips. 

The smell of bakery goods filled Lila’s bedroom early in the morning. She woke to the smell of freshly made bread of some sort. The smell was too irresistible to ignore so she got out of bed, threw on her robe and walked out into the living room and into the kitchen to find Sherlock pulling pastries out of a paper bag. He put down the items, walked over to Lila, wrapping his arms around her waist, and kissed her very gently. Lila, taken aback by the act pushed away from Sherlock. 

“I wanted to see if the kiss was different today. First off, you have morning breath” he said very matter-of-factly. “Second, it was much better to initiate it, rather than having you bombard my face like you did last night.”

“You’re so rude. You’re not supposed to tell me I have morning breath, you’re supposed to ignore it and tell me how perfect I am in every way, especially after kissing me. Also, it's very inappropriate to be kissing me! I don't want to kiss you... I didn't give you consent... I swear you're going to end up in a legal battle one day, and Ill be sitting in the jury watching. Now then, what did you buy, I assume I’m allowed to have some” she said poking through the paper bag and looking at all the goodies. Sherlock took a plate from the kitchen shelves and handed it to Lila, along with a few rolls and some juice. 

“Go into the dinning room, I have questions for you” he said, pushing her away. She sat down at the dinning room table and began feasting on the delicious freshly made bakery items. Sherlock joined her moments later with his own plate and juice. “Did you sleep well?”

“Yes, very, you?”

“You’re lying. There are bags under your eyes, which are also bloodshot and your hair is tangled meaning you quite literally tossed and turned all night. Your pajamas are wrinkled all the way around showing movement. Also, I checked your fitbit this morning, you didn’t fall asleep until five this morning. You’re a liar Ms. Lila” he said, smirking at his own findings. 

“Hm, very well then, no I didn’t sleep well. How about yourself? I could diagnose you, but I’d rather you just tell me” she said, taking a sip of her juice. 

“No, I didn’t sleep well, I was too busy thinking about the texture of your lips and the pressure change during the kiss. It lasted exactly 13.5 seconds and it was right at 7 seconds that you allowed the pressure to decrease. Right at 10 seconds, your lips moved, not away from me, but more as if they widened. I thought about that all night long and I couldn’t understand the workings of it. Then, this morning, our kiss, though it lasted only seven seconds, the pressure in fact was heavier when you pushed away, almost as if you wanted to continue kissing. But it doesn’t make sense because you pushed away… As you can see, I didn’t sleep well. I made coffee, do you want any, you need it” he said, running to the kitchen to pour the coffee. 

“You were so busy thinking about the logic behind the kiss rather than the actual feeling you got during it. It amazes me that you can live in this world.”

“Shut up and eat your biscuit” he said, pushing the pastry further into her mouth. She laughed, and took a big bite. 

“So-“

“Don’t talk with your mouth full”

“Shut up Sherlock, SO, what are your plans for the day?”

“I have to intrude on a police meeting today about a missing body. They’re just dying to call me, they just feel to embarrassed. Later, I’ll scold John for kicking me out and then make fun of him in front of his girlfriend”

“No Sherlock, just because John has a love life doesn’t mean you need to be an ass hole. John needed this I’m sure. Look, if John kicks you out again, you can stay here… in fact, here you go” said Lila as she put down her pastry and walked to the door, grabbing an extra set of keys. “Don’t loose these, they’re expensive to make”. 

“Hm… you want me to just come barging in?”

“Not barging, be quiet about it. This is a calm space, unlike your apartment which is full of some sort of hectic energy. Now then, go away, you’ve fed me, your work here is done. Bye” she said as she pushed Sherlock out of the door. The rest of the day she spent in her apartment, getting the feel of things. She went out in order to buy a few things like a cable box, internet box, and phone box. Once she had returned, she called some men in to help set everything up. The apartment was officially complete around 5:00, just in time to hear Mrs. Hudson yelling in her apartment. Lila stepped out the door to find Mrs. Hudson throwing bread at the baker, practically chasing him out of the apartment. 

“HOW DARE YOU LIE TO ME! YOU HAVE A WIFE IN CAMBODIA!!!” she yelled. 

“Hm… sounds like a conversation that could be had over some tea and cookies, care to come in?” asked Lila, opening her door to the angry women. Mrs. Hudson walked in and took a sharp breath in when she saw the apartment. 

“I don’t think it’s ever looked so beautiful!”

“Well thank you… I’m happy with it. What kind of tea do you want?” asked Lila, pulling a chair away from the dinning room table. 

“Do you have the kind that has whiskey in it?”

“… That’s usually something one makes… sure… I’ll make you something special”

“Why not just skip the tea and give it to me straight?” asked Mrs. Hudson, putting her head in her hands as she looked down at the table. 

“Very well then. So, what happened with the baker, besides the wife in Cambodia?”

“Sherlock had warned me that he had a wife, but I didn’t believe him, but then it hit me. Whey he’s always taking trips, never letting me into his house… He always wanted to come to my house… That horrid man!”

“Sounds like a scoundrel. Here you go” said Lila, placing a tea cup in front of Mrs. Hudson. At first, the landlady was about to correct Lila, telling her that she only wanted whiskey, but when she took a sip, she realized that was all it was, simply in a quaint little cup. 

“How could he do that to me? What have I ever done to deserve such a horrible thing!” cried Mrs. Hudson. 

“Oh Mrs. Hudson-“

“Call me Martha sweetie. The boys aren’t allowed to call me that, but you can”

“Martha, you didn’t do anything to deserve such cruel treatment. There are really shitty people in this world and we learn to live next to them. The baker will get exactly what he deserves, as will you. Have you talked to Dave since the Christmas party?”

“No… I can honestly say that we both deeply regret that night. Besides which, he also has a wife, and two children. He’s happily married, we had a little too much to drink that night. Anyways, I shouldn’t be looking for relationships, I’m too old for that now… it’s time to just settle down… and die.” Lila sat next to Mrs. Hudson, rubbing her back and laughing at the dramatic woman sitting beside her. 

“That’s absolutely ridiculous. You’re not too old to look for a relationship. You’re still absolutely stunning, funny, smart, sensitive, and a fantastic cook so I’ve heard from John. He tells me that you’ll sometimes pack a lunch for him before he goes to work. I can smell it in the office and it always smells wonderful. You just haven’t found someone who is as wonderful as you are.”

“You really think I’m all those things?”

“Of course, I don’t lie. If I didn’t believe it, I wouldn’t say it” laughed Lila, taking a sip of her tea, which was actually tea. 

“I wish I was a lesbian”

“Um… why?”

“Because I’ve had so many more offers from women… and they’ve always been better people than the men I’ve dated. The lesbians I’ve met are right up my ally… except… I don’t think I could ever sleep with a woman… I tried it when I was younger but I got so scared that I fainted in the bathroom when I was primping.”

“Goodness… well you’ve certainly led an adventurous life. I’m sure there’s a man out there for you, but if you want to find him you might have to get out there more. You stay in the house too much, why not go out dancing, or even go to a fun book café at night when they’re playing music. I can see you being very artistic and sitting in a café with your very posh red scarf” said Lila, smiling at Mrs. Hudson. 

“Hm… do you go to those things?”

“I haven’t had time recently… but yes, I love those kinds of things”

“The next time you go, will you bring me? I don’t want to look like your old grandmother that you brought with you, but if you could bear to deal with me for a few hours-“

“Are you kidding, you’ll be the hottest date I’ve had in a while” laughed Lila, poking fun at Mrs. Hudson. They both laughed loudly and continued to chat for another hour before Mrs. Hudson realized she still hadn’t made dinner for herself. 

“Goodnight Lila”

“Goodnight Martha”


End file.
